January 26th 1990  (Age 30)
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Friday, January 24, 2014
Life & Adventure
Here I am, living 27 years and counting in this world.  I am a risk taker, I am a believer and I will do my very best to live a seriously happy life. :)

It's a big world out there, for some, it may seem cruel, unforgiving, demanding, stressful. .but it's just a matter of perception.  You will see what you perceive.  I see the world as my playground, full of adventure and fun.

Come, let's go and play :)

Posted at 10:55 pm by heartbeat
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Friday, October 02, 2009
Life is full of surprises!
Nothing could be sweeter than what Churva did last September 30, 2009.  After all the heartaches and the headaches he have caused, he surprised me outside my dormitory with some chocolates.  And how could I ever hate him for doing that?  Everything is doing well right now and I'm loving it.  Thank you Churva! mmmwah!

Posted at 12:22 pm by heartbeat
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Monday, June 15, 2009

it is definitely wrong...but i did it.  i give-in into something i'm not proud of doing.  it is such a shame on me.  looking back, i was once sure of my stand.  i will never surrender.  i will never let anybody take it from me.  and now i just keep on asking what happened?  what made me do such act?  how could i let somebody took it from me just like that?  what was i thinking?  or am i not thinking at all.... ?

i'm filled with guilt right now.  for myself, my family, my friends and to all those who cares for me.  i have always been strong, but i'm not perfect.  i'm only as strong as i am weak and i have never thought that i was, not until it has finally come into such test.

now everything around me is a blur.. millions of questions just keep on popping inside my head.. why did i do that? what am i trying to prove? what made me do that? why can't i think of even ONE valid answer to justify my action?

but then again...what done is done... all i have to do now is face whatever it is that will be coming my way... :)

Posted at 06:04 pm by heartbeat
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Tuesday, February 05, 2008
my angel

i will alway be thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to meet my angel here on earth.  angels do exist and i feel so lucky to meet and to have one.

I never would have thought that a guy like him do exist in this world.  He's so different with other guys (in some good ways, of course).  Who would ever thought that I will fall head-over-heels in love with someone I just met via text message.  But love really works in wonderful ways, and eventually our wonderful story prospered.  It was October 2005 when our love story began.  I considered it as the most wonder days of my life.  From dawn til dusk we'd talk, except of course if we do have our classes.  He would wake me up early in the morning & he makes sure that I'll have a good sleep at night.  He's the sweetest guy I've ever met.  He's close to perfection.  But something happened.  Just after we celebrated our first anniversary, I caught him cheating on me.  Then came my darkest days, series of sleepless nights, pillow soaked in tears, loss of appetite and interest in almost everything I have.  Never did I imagine that he'd commit such act.  Well, blame it to the distance.

I almost cursed him, but I just can't afford to do such act.  I love him so much; it would be unbearable for me to lose him. .to let go of him.  Finally, by summer of 2006, we've met and just had our wonderful times together.  Despite that fact the he's still with that girl (the thief!).  I'm still thankful though that we were given the chance to be together.   I only asked for a day, but we were given seven blissful days together.  We had dinner dates, movie dates, we went malling, and all the other stuffs we ought to do.  I've never been that happy.  Hugs, kisses, chocolates, small gifts, big gifts, big bear, him + me. .everything was perfect!  And yet, I still have to bid goodbye.  Everything then was temporary.  But I still I'm so thankful for all those blessings.

By October of 2007, again, we've met.  We had the usual bonding and stuffs.  I really love this guy.  He's my angel, he will always be. .and nothing could ever change that.  He will always be the sole proprietor of this precious heart of mine.  I will always be hopeful for his return, and just incase he's not coming back. .well, I'm pretty sure that God have better plans for both of us.  Til then. .i'll wait.

I love you so much my angel. . .Jeramel.

Posted at 09:07 am by heartbeat
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007
a blissful night!

what more could be blissful than this? this moment was the best surprise i ever received so far. . it may mean nothing to him. .but for me, it meant more than anything else in this world. .
nobody will ever understand how i really feel for him. .
but who cares right?

Posted at 08:47 pm by heartbeat
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Tuesday, November 06, 2007
its been years. .
i've been liking him for more or less three (3) long years. .and still counting.  my goodness!  i can never explain to anyone what's this thing i have for him.  i tried for so many times to simply stop liking him, craving for him, aching for him, but it just won't work.  and so i am here today, still liking him. .and maybe, at some point loving him.  i like him more than any other man because of his personality so unique and very very challenging & exciting as well.  he is an achiever, a full-pledge _______ (hehe, can't mention this thing), and a very friendly and cheerful person.  i really find it blissful to have him around (not just me of course. me & my friends would always invite him around for blissful reasons, right friends?!) hehe. this guy is soooo green that there are times i just can't help fantasizing about him and yeah me! haha. .bad girl!

hmm. .after all the heartaches i have had because of him (him not being able to know all of this) there's one thing i certainly would like to do to him (i had chance before, but i guess i was too shy that time & i haven't the enough skills & experience yet. .haha. .) and that is to KISS him.  that's all i ever wanted to do.  that's all i've been waiting for.  and i guess that would sum it all up.  that thing (if ever it will happen) will enlighten me at some point. .such act will surely enlighten me whether or not to continue this crazy stuff about him or i just have to embrace the reality that we can never be more than what we are now. .huhu. .sad. .but the thought of him and me kissing. .it's worth all the wait & the pain that would follow (if ever). .hehe. .

that's all for now. mwuah! ense

Posted at 07:30 pm by heartbeat
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Wednesday, October 31, 2007
seeing the light
i'm currently filled with so much happiness. there are a lot of things to be thankful and to be happy for.  first, of course, my friends, Yang2x, Piggy bear, Ating, Deo, Jigz, Ronel, Ate Kat & Neoleen passed the 2007 CPA Board examination.  after all the hardwork, sleepless nights, pressures, heartaches, headaches, etc. all of these were paid-off.  God knows how to reward those who are making sacrifices :)

i feel so happy for them, seeing them turn their dreams into a reality. and it made me realize that i can also make it.  i'm almost in the point of giving up, but such event gave me hope & courage to go on and continue the journey i've been making & not too far away, my dreams are waiting for me.  it is all in God's grace that i have passed my major subjects & i guess it is His way of telling me that i shall become a CPA someday.  finishing my accountancy course & making it all until the board exam is not an easy battle, but with God with me, i know i can make it until i become a CERTIFIED PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT.

that's all for now. i still have to process my enrollment stuffs :)

ei, i saw this quote upon surfing txtbuff.

"no matter how bad i felt before, i learned loneliness will fade
& even disappear when i focus my attention on things id like to explOre.
There's a whole world out there & sometimes it's better to have time alone
to have the complete freedom to do them,
without worrying about anything but myself.
In the end, i dont really have to think of
myself as a lonely person
- - just someone who has been given some space to grow."

Posted at 12:51 pm by heartbeat
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007
anonymous viewer. .

all the while i thought ako lang ang nakakaalam ng blogsite na toh. .ung tipong ang
mga taong mga kilala ko ay hindi alam ang mga kalokohang pinagsusulat ko dito. .hehe. .but to my big big surprise. .last night. .a concerned citizen asked me kng may na post daw ba ako na blog about him. . .waaaaat???!! grabeh! i was about to sleep na that time. . pro biglang nawala ang antok ko. .how come na may nka pag search or may "accidentally" na nakabasa ng mga na post ko dito? paano nya nalaman ang site ko? waaa?! i tried searching at google with regards to the stuffs / persons na napost ko dito but my site never appeared. .tapos ngaun? sino tong nka basa ng post ko?!

nababasa mo ba toh? paano mo naman nalaman ang site ko? (post ka naman ng comment oh) hehe. . wat a stupid question mae joy! haha. . how i really wish that i'm just hallucinating. .that no one really cared reading this blog. .in as much as i want to keep this thoughts private pro xempre naman the risk of spilling it to the public will always be there kc nga dba publicly published toh? hehe. .

anyway, wala namang nawala sa akin or mawawala sa akin if ever nga na may nkabasa na na mga kakilala ko or third persons na indirectly kilala ko or ung mga taong na post ko ang name dito. . Big Smile

for you who have read my blog and for those who are about to read it. .favor naman oh? atin atin nalang toh ha. . . Wink sobrang hirap kc ng buhay pag sikat. .haha. .mwah!

Posted at 03:04 pm by heartbeat
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Monday, October 01, 2007
out of nowhere
remember Charlie? ung na meet ko sa barko during our trip to Cebu. .well, after several months ng hindi pagpaparamdam. .eto xa at sumusulpot na naman. .last week, he left a message on my friendster giving me his contact number at na ngangamusta na rin. .hmm. .in return i gave him my new number. .xempre naman noh. .i won't be the one to text him. .haller?! ok lang xa? hehe. .

last night, nagparamdam xa. .nareceive nya na ung message ko at tinext nya ako. .tanong tanong lang. .ung ganun. .pro di kami nakapagtxt due to credit constraint. .hehe. .and nagbbonding din kami ng mga friends ko na sina yang2 and piggy bear. .board exams na nila two weeks from now. . :)

hmm. .early this morning. .i texted him since nka unli naman ako. .kya un. .txt txt kami. .and he offered some business. .electronic dictionary. .hmm. .tinawagan ba naman ako. .my gosh! grabe. .i don't know how should i react. .but we had a casual conversation. .prang business meeting. .? hehe. .d naman. .bsta. .pinopromote nya ung business nila. .haay. .ewan. .wala naman din kc akong pang capital dun noh. .pro ewan lang. .there's no harm naman if i entertain his business invitation e. .dba? :)

un lang for now. . (nice talaga ng voice nya) haaay. .

Posted at 10:41 am by heartbeat
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Sunday, September 23, 2007
getting tired. .
i used to believe that we were meant for each other. .we had an almost perfect relationship long before you cheated on me. .what have i done to deserve this endless pain? or was it something that i should have done that i failed to do?. .hmm. .i know. .we've talked about this stuff for several times now. .but still. .i just can't comprehend all of the reasons you're trying to feed me. .i'm so sorry. .but i think i'm getting tired of all these stuffs. .i'm getting tired of understanding things i know i never will be able to understand. .i'm getting tired of waiting for you. .and worst. .i think & feel that i'm getting tired of loving you. .i'm sorry for acting like i still love you and for acting like i really care about US. .i don't know how to tell you that i can no longer take all of these. .there is no US. .none. .null. .void. .inexistent. .invalid. .zero. .as in nothing. .i guess we both have to accept the fact that you can never live a life with me. .and i can never live a life with you. .it's the saddest part of our story. .and i guess it just have to end this way. .we really should separate ways now. .

Posted at 09:29 pm by heartbeat
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